I took a shower today

 

turned water on scald,

stood underneath

until my skin turned pink

just to feel something.

 

I took a shower today,

picked my favorite

island scented gel,

squeezing it over a puff.

Rubbed my arms, breasts,

waist, my legs and back.

Covered my skin with bubbles.

I always avoid my belly.

 

I took a shower today,

washed my hair,

and my face.

shaved my legs,

that ridiculous hair

on my big toe. 

 

I took a shower today,

stood body facing shower head,

holding myself,

letting water drench

dripping like hot tears

I am too numb to cry.

 

I took a shower today

stayed until fingertips pruned

and even longer.

Lingered until steam

filled the room

creating clouds,

I want to sleep on.

Instead, I am in the middle

of a storm.

 

I took a shower today

Turned off the water

dried myself on fluffy soft towel.

Put on my favorite perfume.

Felt my skin cool.

Took a deep breath.

I took a shower today.

 

Monster Squatter

 

The monster in the closet

hears me cry on tear stained pillows.

Moves closer, finding real estate             

under the bed,

whispering dark exaggerations

cuddles me in restless slumber.

Slyly moving into my head, taking up

                too much space

My thought turn dwelling

of darkness.

 

This brute keeps me

close, a coy lover.

Flirts      fill me with toxic epilogue.

My wary eyes stare at shadows on the wall

resembling prison bars

 

I no longer want to give rent

to this squatter

all its dense

clump shrubs and twining creepers

making me doubt            my own existence

 

Eviction of monsters       an undertaking

to banish a lurker

pilfering my body

making it a domicile

occupied with all its trappings.

Scrawl filled walls inside a chest heavy

with its skewed slant.

 

Bending my mind, making me doubt myself

It plays listener, tying knots in my stomach

like braiding hair,

this slippery seducer behaves /on occasion

whispering to dress up for dinner

I am no longer craving company

Foreclosure key

to take repossession

of myself and I am

too busy changing locks.

 

About the Poet

Heather Pease is a Poet focusing on work centering on feminism, sexuality, identity, culture, mental health, politics and domestic violence. She writes from her own experiences, aiming to give voice to vulnerability, making people think about subjects often stigmatized through society. She writes to empower others whose voices remain unheard. She lives in Orange County, CA with her husband, and two daughters and is currently working on her first book of poems.